If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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