So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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