There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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