But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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