dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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