He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize