Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
