She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
