Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
