we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
