I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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