OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
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Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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