yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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