Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
