Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
