i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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