i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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