Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
