Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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