Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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