This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
