so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
