Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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