I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You were trust falling into bushes
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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