Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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