You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is Oprah even human
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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