Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
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I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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