He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
