shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
