You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
