I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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