My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
