it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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