Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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