I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
