so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
No subtext here. People are naked.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
