Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
