if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
is wine microwaveable?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
