I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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