he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
