I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
