I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
