the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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