He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
