Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
