if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
