What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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