Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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