do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize