I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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