actually, I'm a sock model
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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