we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize