if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
