Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize