i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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