You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
