I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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