I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You can't motorboat a personality
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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