Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Someone signed my nipple.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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