my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
