'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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